Wednesday, April 21, 2010

You Can Still Wear Cute Shoes by Lisa McKay

If you're a pastor's wife you'll love this book. It's laugh out loud funny but takes you to some serious places too.

It's about identity and being grounded in Christ. It's about knowing what God wants from you and being able to gracefully refuse to mold yourself into someone else's false picture of who you should be.

If you're not a pastor's wife, pick it up anyway - it will give you some great insights into your pastor's wife and maybe just maybe you'll be able to avoid heaping some of those unrealistic expectations on her.

Lisa McKay’s You Can Still Wear Cute Shoes is an utterly honest, charmingly witty, and biblically insightful guide for every minister’s wife who wants to serve the church and her husband without losing herself along the way.

Excerpt from the introduction of You Can Still Wear Cute Shoes…and Other Great Advice from an Unlikely Preacher’s Wife by Lisa McKay (© David C Cook, 2010)

“God is calling you to do what?”

Such was my reaction fifteen years ago when my husband, Luke, told me he felt God was leading him into the gospel ministry. Even though I supported him wholeheartedly, I naively believed this calling was somehow just his gig. My job was simply to accompany him while he did his “thing.”

Reality didn’t hit until a well-meaning gentleman enlightened me on the expectations of a minister’s wife. He said, “The best thing you can do for Luke is learn how to play the piano. He’ll have a much easier time being called as a pastor of a church. Congregations love it when the pastor’s wife can contribute. It’s like they are getting two for one!” If I knew then what I know now, I would have had a serious fight with the flesh to keep from sharing my thoughts on the buy-one-get-one-free concept.

The restraint of the Holy Spirit is a beautiful thing.

Before that moment, it truly had not entered my mind that anyone would expect anything of me, or that my lack of musical talent could affect my husband’s “success” in ministry. I thought of my childhood pastor’s wife, a grim-faced woman whose hair was piled high in a bun. Polyester skirts and sensible shoes were her standard uniform. And yes, she played the piano. Was this the person I must become in order for God to use our family in ministry?

…It also did not help that the books I read about being a ministry wife only reinforced my insecurities. The advice ranged from how to brew a perfect cup of tea for a ladies’ luncheon to how to organize a large staff when hosting a dinner party. According to these books, I was to be gracious at all times, keep a spotless home, and have well-dressed, obedient children. I’m certainly not criticizing these noble aspirations, but even before children I was completely overwhelmed at this picture of perfection. I don’t agree with the busyness of our culture, yet there is no use in denying I often fall prey to its trappings. The truth is, I am a wife and mother deep in the trenches. The only tea I brew is Lipton. And staff? Are you kidding me? If I ever have a workforce at my disposal, they will be too busy doing laundry to prepare a dinner for the deacons. And where do I begin with the kids? Someone please tell me what to do with a child who sneaks his Halloween costume under his clothes, strips off in the bathroom, and shakes hands as Spiderman during the greeting song when he is supposed to be in children’s church. Susanna Wesley would definitely not approve.

You Can Still Wear Cute Shoes by Lisa McKay
David C Cook February 1, 2010
ISBN: 978-1-4347-6726-4/208 pages/softcover/$12.99

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