Thursday, August 10, 2006

Panic attacks and other strategies I should know

Yesterday I took my ms. to Sigmund Brouwer's office - he's one of the writers who has agreed to do an endorsement of One Smooth Stone. I dropped it off and headed out of the building and I had to fight to keep going. I had a sudden and very strong urge to run back and snatch it from the hands of the secretary. Negative thoughts poured through my mind - such as - you dummy! Do you realize he's actually going to read it!? Don't you know it's not good enough - not nearly good enough for someone like Sigmund Brouwer to read? What makes you think your work will ever be good enough to publish?
I sat in my car and realized it already has been accepted for publication - it is going to be published - so someone obviously thought it was good enough - more than one someone. Then I realized where the negative thoughts were coming from and I fought to chase them out of my mind.
I packaged up two more copies to send by mail today - and guess what kind of thoughts were running through my mind? Yeah right. Another battle. Sigh.
Then I read Karen Hancock's latest blog - it's about fear. Go figure! Thanks Karen. I needed that!
God is good!

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